Pregnant woman or Zoo Animal?

I have officially hit the 30 week mark in my pregnancy, and while I thought it would get easier to get the random comments on my pregnancy, it never ceases to amaze me how often I actually do get commented on. When I was first pregnant and nobody knew, it felt like I had a weight on my shoulders as I tried to just keep it a secret. This decision was partly because it is my first pregnancy and I didn't know if it was going to end in loss, but I also didn't really want people's opinions as I try to figure out my own expectations and boundaries.

But once I announced, not only did I get many comments, a mixture of good and questionable, but I also got the sudden realization of how self conscious I was because of the comments. Was I doing the right things, do I look pregnant enough, am I gaining enough weight?

Now,as I am 30 weeks pregnant and very obviously so, it has fascinated and frustrated me to realize that when it comes to pregnancy and babies, people have no sense of boundaries! As I waddle through the grocery store, I can see the eyes quickly look down at my belly and watch them decide if they want to look away or comment on how cute I look. I've had comments on my waddle, the size of my belly, the size of my body in general, and so much more. It astounds people that such a small person can carry two babies inside of her! And don't get me started on the need that people have to touch my belly.

I feel like an animal in a petting zoo, wherever I am at, and my belly is a flashing sign that says "comment or touch me!"

While I understand the sentiment of people wanting to coo at how I look or give me unwarranted advice, not only does this make me uncomfortable most of the time, but I wonder what goes through the minds of those who are doing such things and why they feel the sudden need to do so. The more I hear the comments, the more frustrated I become as I start to feel like I am no longer a person but something to be observed. A story to follow, something to invest in to get closer to my unborn children, or simply a naïve pregnant woman who obviously needs help. A charity case.

As it has continually happened, I feel the impulsive need to build more walls around me, especially when considering how much I want people involved when I have my babies. While I would love care and support from others, I also do not want people stepping in without being asked or given permission, and watching over my shoulder to dictate whether I am being a good enough mom.

Maybe this is all rooted in my natural instinct of being a private person, or maybe this is a struggle that many pregnant women struggle with! I just know that as I am stepping into this next chapter, I want to build community with people who are going to be respectful and helpful in the ways that I need rather than what others think I may need. So I guess what I am saying is, when you see a pregnant woman, do not touch her belly, just tell her she looks great and ask her how she is. Do not give her advice without being asked and treat her like human being!