The Geography of Faith

Song of the Week: Revival by Zach Williams

“You called my name, and You made all things new”

The past two months I have been more aware about my sinful habits more than I ever have. Many assumptions that I have seen being made about Christians is that they are perfect, righteous, and can do no wrong. But what people don’t understand is that we are actually the opposite, we just become more aware of the actions that we do. The journey of having faith causes you to have a lot of highs but a lot of lows. An analogy that I like to think of is the Geography of Faith. At the Mountaintop is where you are closest to God and feel the best. I crave the Mountaintop, I think most Christians do. Where troubles are far away and they feel their call the strongest. But the sad thing is that at some point we have to come down. We have to walk in the Valley. Here, we feel isolated, troubled, and we wonder why we are there. We forget the purpose of us being there is.

The past two months I have been in a Valley. I felt disconnected and I could barely hear the whisper of my call. What I hate about the Valley is that it is where the enemy likes to attack you. This is the place where you are most vulnerable. For me, the enemy gave me doubt and fear. As I became more aware of my sinful nature, I began to ask the questions What if I am not meant to be a Christian leader? How could I stand in front of people and tell them that they are wrong when I am the same? I let my brokenness define me and I thought that God would never want me. I couldn’t stand the idea of it and yet I couldn’t keep myself from being sinful. I wanted to be perfect for God but I couldn’t. A few weeks ago, I was spending time with God when he reminded me of a story that I had read with a ladies Bible study hosted by my aunt. This is the story of the call of Matthew. The story goes like this:

Matthew 9:9-13 (NIV)

9As Jesus went on from there, he saw a man named Matthew sitting at the tax collector’s booth. “Follow me,” he told him, and Matthew got up and followed him. 10While Jesus was having dinner at Matthew’s house, many tax collectors and sinners came and ate with him and his disciples. 11When the Pharisees saw this, they asked his disciples, “Why does your teacher eat with tax collectors and sinners?” 12On hearing this, Jesus said, “It is not the healthy who need a doctor, but the sick.13But go and learn what this means: ‘I desire mercy, not sacrifice.’ For I have not come to call the righteous, but sinners.”

Here’s a little background on the story: people hated tax collectors. During this time, they were the dictators that got to choose who to take money from and how much. And it wasn’t just anybody who noticed that Jesus was eating with them but it was the Pharisees. These were the people who believed that you had to follow the Torah completely, including all the laws within. Talk about impossible. At this point they know that Jesus was being sent down for something. Was sent by God. If God sent someone down, wouldn’t you think that He would want him to be surrounded by the people who have been following the Law? But He didn’t want to, he said, “For I have not come to call the righteous, but sinners”. That just blows me away. I am a sinner. I am broken. Yet he looks at me and sees a purpose. From then on I was reminded of God’s love but I was still walking in the valley. I challenged the enemy and it still kept coming. Telling me I wasn’t worthy. That I can’t be better. That my sinful nature will keep me from every striving to be better. That I should just give into the world and its desires.

This Sunday, I was able to go to church in person again. I was so nervous that I was going to go in there and my pastors and friends would immediately look at me and tell me I wasn’t fit to be there anymore. Beforehand, I was scrolling on my Bible app when I came across some passages that I knew God was calling me to read. The first was John 15:16, “You didn’t choose me. I chose you. I appointed you to go and produce lasting fruit, so that the Father will give you whatever you ask for, using my name.” I was reminded that I wasn’t the one who chose to go into Ministry. God had already planned that for me. That he looked at the world and saw that it needed me. As I continued reading I went from reading in John to Hebrews, I don’t exactly remember why but here are the passages that I had highlighted:

John 16:27

“for the Father himself loves you dearly because you love me and believe that I came from God.”

John 16:33

“I have told you all this so that you may have peace in me. Here on earth you will have many trials and sorrows. But take heart, because I have overcome the world.”

Hebrews 9:15

“That is why he is the one who mediates a new covenant between God and people, so that all who are called can receive the eternal inheritance God has promised them. For Christ died to set them free from the penalty of the sins they had committed under that first covenant.”

Hebrews 10:22

“let us go right into the presence of God with sincere hearts fully trusting him. For our guilty consciences have been sprinkled with Christ’s blood to make us clean, and our bodies have been washed with pure water.”

What I learned from these passages is that we are loved and called. God knows what we have done and still looks at us with purpose. When we go to him we will find peace and forgiveness. When I went to church on Sunday I wasn’t judged but I was welcomed with open arms. My pastors were so excited that I was there and listened when I told them that I had given into my call of Ministry. So what I want to tell you is that whatever is on your heart, give it to God. No healing will happen until you go to God.

What I want you to understand though is that while we are sinners, we are not called to live in our sin. When Jesus calls us, he is telling us to lay down our lives and get rid of these habits and to take up our cross and teach with it. Don’t forget where you were or what you were doing but use it to tell others the good news. That’s what I think the purpose of Hebrews 10:26 is when it says, “Dear friends, if we deliberately continue sinning after we have received knowledge of the truth, there is no longer any sacrifice that will cover these sins.” This doesn’t mean that if we fall into sin we are not saved, what it means is that if we choose sin over Jesus we cannot be saved. It's not until we repent for those sins and give into Jesus that we can be saved.

The past two months I had tried to fix myself before going to God because I thought that was the only way that he would accept me. Because I already had Jesus in my heart and I knew that I had sinned, I thought I was out. That was it for me. But when I had finally given in and just gave it to Him, that’s when I felt that I wasn’t alone in the Valley. That I was forgiven. That’s why I think that this song of the week is important because it speaks of the brokenness that God heals. If you haven’t realized already, that is why I titled my blog Broken and Blessed. Because I am broken, but I know who my God is. So I advise you to read into Zack Williams’ lyrics in Revival, “You called my name, and You made all things new/ Oh, I was dead, but look at me now/ I found revival in You” I want to challenge you to think of yourself right now. I know it's hard, believe me, I’ve been doing it for two months now. But think of how you are living, are you falling into sin or are you choosing to do it and then facing the consequences later? Whatever it is, go to God. It’s worth it.