The Valley

Song of the Week: Through All of It by Colton Dixon

I have won

and I have lost

I got it right sometimes

But sometimes I did not

Life's been a journey

I've seen joy, I've seen regret

Oh and You have been my God

Through all of it

I feel like something that Christians don’t like to confirm is the spiritual valley. At the beginning of the term I had discussed the geography of faith and how there is a mountain where you feel at your peak with God and your relationship with him and then there is the valley, where you feel isolated in the dark with no sign of what to do. This week I have been in a valley. I knew that when studying the geography of faith that it was inevitable but I still didn’t prepare myself. As the week had gone by I had no motivation to read my Bible, focus on my schoolwork, or even pray. I was somewhere between spiritual laziness and not being able to mentally move myself.

On Monday night I had been in a situation that felt unsafe and in that moment I didn’t think of God. Of all the moments that I think of God, I would have assumed that my first instinct would have been to run to God. But instead I just panicked. I was at work as the closing cashier when we had an attempted robbery. Most people assume when I say that that they were threatening me with a weapon. But actually, it was just a sketchy guy wandering the aisles of the store holding an ax. He neither threatened nor attempted any harm to the staff but it was his lingering that made me scared. That he could do anything and that I may be at the front of it. Driving home that night I thought about a Bible verse that I had somewhat seared in my mind from my daily Bible verse reminder on my phone: “Fearing people is a dangerous trap, but trusting the Lord means safety”(Proverbs 29:25). At that moment I was in complete fear of a person and had no thought of my savior.

I think this is what put me into this mental spiral. This week I contemplated why I wasn’t trying to pursue my relationship with God and I thought about how I have been interacting with the Christian community. I follow many Christian influencers on social media and many of them post encouragement and teaching that helps me. But there are some people that pop up that I am taken by surprise when they start being judgemental and hateful towards a certain person or idea. This angered me because as Christians we are called to love one another no matter what and yet people are calling out or ‘canceling’ each other for something that they said or did. I want no part in that. And it made me think, Have I turned away from my faith? But immediately I thought No. I could never turn away from the belief that Jesus saved me and that I wholeheartedly believe in my God. What I was losing was my respect for Christians.

Tying this together with my spiritual valley, I felt that I was in an unmovable place. That I was trying to get away from this toxic atmosphere but I felt like God was slipping away. I think about what my past leader, Justin, said, which I mentioned in a different post but I’ll say it again, “There is no such thing as distance from God. From the moment that you accept Christ into your heart, you let the Holy Spirit come to you. And you are never alone.” Remembering that quote, I know that I am not far from God but I am just going through a trial that I will come out victorious.

I think about how the enemy works in the valley too. Just like that sketchy customer, it weaves in and out of your life, not making contact with you but showing itself just enough to make you nervous. I have been tempted and I have fallen this week but when I get up again I make sure not to feel that same shame that the enemy would attack me with for months but instead I would remind myself that God loves me and that I am human. I am a broken mess but I am chosen. Another Bible verse that had come up on my daily reminder was James 1:2-3, “Dear brothers and sisters, when troubles of any kind come your way, consider it an opportunity for great joy. For you know that when your faith is tested, your endurance has a chance to grow.” I think we forget that we make the enemy nervous too. The sketchy customer ended up running out of the store with nothing because we had constantly made ourselves present. Wherever he went, we were right behind him. It made him nervous and he ran. We have to do that with the enemy too. God is right beside you making the enemy nervous too. Being present with the Lord will make the enemy flee.

In the past, when I went to Camp Attitude, we would always talk about God Winks; special moments where we are reminded of God’s greatness or presence. I think that the daily verse reminders this week have been a God wink for me. To remind me that I am not alone, that I can still seek his guidance because even though I am not getting into my deep relationship with Him, He is still around. Those bible verses were a God wink and a reminder that God is present. For this week’s song I was reminded about the many songs that are around trials as a Christian. I was reminded that it is normal to be in the valley. When I listened to the song for this week, I knew I needed to use it because it reminded me that I am going to fall and stumble but God is there to catch me. So I don’t know where you are at with your relationship with God but if you are in a valley too or if you have been in a valley, just know that God has not and will not leave you. He is there to carry you through it all.